What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
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