It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Randomize
