He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Randomize
