chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
