There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
