at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Randomize
