are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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