Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
