So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize