Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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