I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
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