Your face is a jimmy john
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
