my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Randomize
