its not stalking. its research.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
