I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
she told me i tasted like america
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
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