Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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