I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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