party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
