Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
