I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Randomize
