I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Randomize
