the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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