She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Randomize
