After last night, I could never be a politician.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Randomize
