Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Randomize
