i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
She's the barista slut.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
