Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
