its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Randomize
