paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Randomize
