Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Randomize
