had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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