Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
How does it feel to date your dad?
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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