my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
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