You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
I love having hate sex.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize