he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
