I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Your topless pictures make me question reality
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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