He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
