The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
Randomize
