I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
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