His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
My breasts were aching with rage.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
