I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize
