I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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