awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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