He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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