Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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