my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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