when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
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