Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
