he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
