Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize