It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
