Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Randomize
