we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
