Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Randomize
