he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize
