At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Randomize
