he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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