I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
You may now shotgun with the bride
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
