Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
i think my cat just said my name.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
