Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
