i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
I'm getting married
To pizza
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
