hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
tonight lets celebrate not being married
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
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