you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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