Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Randomize