and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
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