i don't plan on having that self control this summer
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
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