What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
