There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
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