her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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