Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
