actually, I'm a sock model
I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
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