just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
