i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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