nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I could fuck to npr.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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