She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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