fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
