Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
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