They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
