shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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