I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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